AM trying to decide what we should be for Halloween AM: How about the Chippettes? SM: Umm I don’t want to look stupid. AM: We won’t look stupid. Look! (Shows googled images of the Chippettes on her phone) SM: Mmm I don’t know. (Long pause, then…) AM: OOOOOHHHH WE
Continue readingROMANCE AND THE RUNS
(Names have been changed to protect the humiliated) A friend of mine, who I’ll call Dana, met a guy through Match.com who I’ll call Pete. Dana and Pete had gone out on a date that went relatively well although she was pretty sure they’d just be friends. According to
Continue readingHOMELESS MAN RIDES SHOPPING CART ON THE ‘A’ TRAIN
My friend Monique and I were heading home on the A Train in the wee hours of the morning from a night out I barely remember. The A Train is on the blue line and is one of the wider trains in the subway system. The interior of each
Continue readingSTAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS PLEASE
Here’s a story that I am never able to tell without choking with laughter. One morning I was waiting for the Uptown E at the 34th Street Penn Station stop. The train wasn't too crowded, but there was no place to sit. So I found a spot close to
Continue readingMAN IN PINSTRIPE SUIT DIGS FOR CHEESE
One day I was on the Q train heading toward Downtown Brooklyn. It was an uneventful October afternoon, the perfect day to run useless errands just to get out of the house. I exited the train at Dekalb Ave and happened to find myself walking behind a man in a
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Dana's first conversation with a guy she met on Match.com Guy: How long have you been on Match? Dana: A few months. How about you? Guy: I’m new. Dana: So how many dates have you been on? Guy: You’re my first. Dana: Wow. How did you strike gold so fast.
Continue readingWE’RE IN MIAMI BITCH Part I:
The Roaches in the Philippines I did a lot of party vacations when I was in college and every day of those vacations was memorable —when I was sober that is. There’s nothing like a college vacation to learn how to channel your inner bad girl. I mean, academics
Continue readingMAN IN MALL HAS DIGESTION INDISCRETION
I was a typical teenager in high school and like any typical teenager I had to have the latest and greatest anything. Whatever trends popped up in school, I wanted to be the first to jump on it. Sometimes this was the case…most of the time it wasn’t. During
Continue readingPOOR WOMAN’S BROKE JOKE
There was this one homeless woman that I used to see on the A train occasionally. She stood out to me because she was actually quite attractive in spite of her unfortunate situation. She always traveled with a middle-aged man and they’d both tote instruments around that looked
Continue readingTwo Drunks and a Piggyback
Sometimes funny shit happens and all you can do is laugh about it, tell your friends later and hope that they find it as funny as you do. However, the way I tell stories I'm almost always the only one laughing. Sometimes you just have to be there. Fortunately, thanks
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